I was spinning the other day. And I don't mean that in the sense of the workout class.
I mean it in the sense of bouncing around aimlessly from task to task, feeling overwhelmed--like I was going 100 MPH, but getting nowhere fast.
I have to admit, this happens to me all too often. I start fixating on my to-do list. I start getting stressed. I start wondering how I'll fit everything I need to do (or want to do) in the day. And, I stop talking to God.
Just a quick email check, then I'll take time to pray.
Just one more load of laundry, and I'll sit down with my Bible.
Just a short phone call, and I'll write in my prayer journal.
I happen to have what some may think are unrealistic expectations for myself. I have a six-month-old infant and girls in kindergarten and second grade. I think I should be caring for them, completing my at-home freelance writing assignments, working out, keeping a tidy home, making home-cooked meals, decorating for fall, scrapbooking, learning how to use my DSLR camera, working on sewing projects...and the list goes on.
Yes, I'm a little nuts.
I look longingly at our local library's list of classes and groups, wistfully thinking I'd like to join The Go Green Club, The Writer's Group, and The Crochet Club (I don't even crochet--well, yet). I'm already in both a book club and an amateur photography class.
I know that my ratio of interests to time available is way out of whack. But, sometimes, I just can't help it, and I overextend myself.
That's where God comes in--when I let him.
He gently reigns me in. He grounds me. He reminds me that if I'm right with Him, nothing else matters. He helps me get off the manic hamster wheel of useless activity and gives me purpose.
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Dear Lord: Thank you for being there for me no matter how many times I carelessly toss aside our relationship in favor of the next thing on my never-ending to-do list. Please soften my stubborn heart and help me put aside those daily tasks to talk to you. Imbue me with a sense of your divine purpose, so I don't feel like I'm aimlessly spinning through my days. Amen.