Celebrating Halloween: A Christian Take on a Non-Christian Holiday

Photo Copyright Elizabeth May, 2010

A few months back, my daughters (5 and 7 years old) and I were talking about holidays, including Halloween.

My seven-year-old floored me when she said, "What's the real meaning of Halloween?"

I quickly realized the real meaning of Halloween wasn't something I wanted to get into with a little girl who was thrown into a fear spiral two years ago from seeing pictures of too-scary Halloween decorations.

She went on.

"Doesn't it have something to do with God?"

I guess she really was listening when I told her and her sister to remember the true meaning of Christmas and Easter. But, now I was in a bind. How to explain Halloween. I muttered something unintelligible and changed the subject.

But, I thought then, as now--there must be a better way for Christians to explain Halloween to kids.

I started with some research on the origins of Halloween.

Here are some links, if you want to bone up (no pun intended!) on your Halloween history.

Christian Broadcast Network's site has an entire Halloween "resource" section. Here's a link to a general article on Halloween and Christianity.

History.com provides a comprehensive, secular overview of the holiday's roots here.

What I learned in my research is that Halloween, as we celebrate it today, has many influences--ranging from the ancient Druids to the Catholic Church. And, most of the traditions prior to the 20th- and 21st-century did involve the supernatural, with people believing that spirits (either bad or good) returned at this time to roam the earth. Today, Halloween has become the second largest commercial holiday, with Americans spending an estimated $6.9 billion annually (history.com). A growing sector of the commercial side of Halloween is the gory and gruesome--a particular bane to those with young and/or sensitive children (like mine) who can literally get nightmares from just driving around their own neighborhood, seeing severed heads hanging from trees and all-too-realistic skeletons clawing up through the ground.

While I can't change the way the rest of the world celebrates Halloween--grotesque decor included--I can choose how to present the holiday to my kids.

So, here's what I've come up with:

You know how you asked me about the real meaning of Halloween? Well, Halloween is an old, old holiday. It started many years when people thought that the end of summer and beginning of longer, darker days in the fall meant that scary spirits would come out and play tricks on them. So, they'd dress up in costume, thinking the spirits wouldn't know who they were. Halloween has changed over the years to what it is now: getting dressed up, trick or treating for candy, carving Jack O' Lanterns, putting up decorations. 


But, remember how the really scary decorations bother us, and we don't like them? Well, that's a good reaction to have. I think some people get too interested in the darker, spookier side of Halloween, and that's not what we want to do. That's not what God would want us to do. Remember how you also asked if Halloween had to do with God? Well, in some ways, it does, because God is everywhere, and he is especially with us in dark or scary times. Halloween is a good time to remember that. 


I like to think of Halloween as a time to gather close with family, celebrate warm homes and glowing jack o lanterns, and eat good food like warm spiced apple cider, caramel apples, and homemade soup. We can remember that in these longer, darker days of fall and winter, God cozies up with us too.

Dear Lord: Please be with us all this Halloween season. Help us to remember that in the midst of what can be dark in the world, that You are light; You fight the bad in this world. Give those of us with children the wisdom to answer tough questions about Halloween and other holidays truthfully, but appropriately. Help us to find You at all times, and in all places, even in those unlikely spots.

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.

1 John 1:5

When The World Turns Upside Down

Photo Credit: Elizabeth May, Copyright 2010

October 2001. My world turned upside down. A miscarriage, a husband without a job and no good prospects in sight, and a mom with an illness no-one could seem to diagnose. Despite the riot of fall color surrounding me, the world seemed dark. 

As the days grew shorter, and the weather colder, I drew closer to God.

You've heard of fair-weather fans--I'm a foul-weather worshiper. I don't turn to God as often as I should, especially when things are going well, but when the going gets tough, He is my solace. I slow down and contemplate. I write in my journal. I read my Bible. I find specific comfort in verses that seem tailored to me and my situation.

Sickness, loss of a loved one, marriage problems, financial stresses--there are many heart-breaking situations we all face at some time in our lives, times that our world is turned on its end, and all we want is for some gentle giant to right it. Now.

I was impatient that fall, nine years ago. I wanted my husband to find a job. Now. I wanted my mom to get better. Now. I wanted to get pregnant. Now. And, I prayed for all those things, earnestly, daily.

God said, in time.

By Christmas, my husband had consulting work (which eventually turned into a full-time job). Around that time, too, my mother was able to come to Pittsburgh to see a new doctor who was able to diagnose and start treatment for her condition. And, finally, by July, I found out I was pregnant again.

Today, I'm stealing a bit of quiet time to write this, as my six-month-old naps upstairs and my girls are off at kindergarten and second grade. My concerns these days are typically what to make for dinner, or how I'm going to fit a work assignment into between school and activities and caring for my family.

I too often forget how lucky I am to have these "lite" concerns.

I too often forget the fall my world tipped over.

I too often forget to get on my knees and thank God for how lucky I am.

I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. 

Jeremiah 31:13

Dear Lord: Thank you for being there for me, and for all those who seek you when times are tough. When we face worries and concerns and sorrows so huge they threaten to engulf us, you fold us into your arms. You listen to our cries; you feel our distress; you minister to our wounds. Please comfort those who are hurting now, help them to find you in their time of need. And, for those of us who aren't facing troubles today, help us  to praise you earnestly for all we have. Amen.

Getting off the Wheel

Photo Credit

I was spinning the other day. And I don't mean that in the sense of the workout class.

I mean it in the sense of bouncing around aimlessly from task to task, feeling overwhelmed--like I was going 100 MPH, but getting nowhere fast.

I have to admit, this happens to me all too often. I start fixating on my to-do list. I start getting stressed. I start wondering how I'll fit everything I need to do (or want to do) in the day. And, I stop talking to God.

Just a quick email check, then I'll take time to pray.

Just one more load of laundry, and I'll sit down with my Bible.

Just a short phone call, and I'll write in my prayer journal.

I happen to have what some may think are unrealistic expectations for myself. I have a six-month-old infant and girls in kindergarten and second grade. I think I should be caring for them, completing my at-home freelance writing assignments, working out, keeping a tidy home, making home-cooked meals, decorating for fall, scrapbooking, learning how to use my DSLR camera, working on sewing projects...and the list goes on.

Yes, I'm a little nuts.

I look longingly at our local library's list of classes and groups, wistfully thinking I'd like to join The Go Green Club, The Writer's Group, and The Crochet Club (I don't even crochet--well, yet). I'm already in both a book club and an amateur photography class.

I know that my ratio of interests to time available is way out of whack. But, sometimes, I just can't help it, and I overextend myself.

That's where God comes in--when I let him.

He gently reigns me in. He grounds me. He reminds me that if I'm right with Him, nothing else matters. He helps me get off the manic hamster wheel of useless activity and gives me purpose.

 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:21 

Dear Lord: Thank you for being there for me no matter how many times I carelessly toss aside our relationship in favor of the next thing on my never-ending to-do list. Please soften my stubborn heart and help me put aside those daily tasks to talk to you. Imbue me with a sense of your divine purpose, so I don't feel like I'm aimlessly spinning through my days. Amen.

God Stretches Us

Photo Credit 

It's a stretch, me writing a blog. I'm just not a blog type of gal.

I'm not as networked as I should be. I'm not online constantly. I'm not the person with hundreds of Facebook friends. I don't post product reviews or rarely join online forums. I love to read blogs, but rarely comment.

So, what am I doing writing a blog?

It's pretty simple, actually. The big guy called. More than once, in fact. Oddly enough, each time, "blog" was in His call for me.

I'm not sure why. I'd just as soon minimize my Internet browser and create digital scrapbook pages in Photoshop. Or, better yet, I'd prefer to push my laptop aside and go for a jog or a hike, or cook something, or work on a sewing project, or try to figure out my DSLR, or read a book, or call my mom. (Yes, I have a too-many-hobbies problem, but that's another post.)

The thing is: God likes to stretch us. Grow us. Push us out of our comfort zone.

It's kind of like one of those intense yoga stretches you really have to settle into and breathe through. I still remember the first time I tried pigeon. (WARNING: Yoga types, avert your eyes as I try to inexpertly explain pigeon.) You end up with one leg bent underneath you, your heel settled into the opposite side of your pelvis and your other leg stretched straight out behind you. You cross your arms out in front of you on the floor and put your head down. You're face down, totally prone.

Now, you breathe.

The first time I did this stretch, I didn't think I was going to make it through the amount of breaths the instructor had allotted. I'm not a flexible person.

But, I did make it. And, pigeon ended up being one of my favorite poses.

Though I've never been "good" at yoga in terms of having the natural constitution that allows me to pretzel up, yoga is good for me. It stretches me--literally and physically.

God never said doing the right thing is easy. He never said following His will for our lives was supposed to be painless.

So, I'm working hard to look at this blog like the ultimate God stretch. Challenging, but ultimately, fulfilling.

I'm trying to remember to take it one post at a time and to focus on my overall goal (honoring Him), rather than getting sidetracked by the feeling of posting in a vacuum. (Is there anyone really out there?)

I'm working to settle into the stretch, not fight it. And, when all else fails, and I feel panicky, I take a cue from yoga.

I just breathe.

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.

Ephesians 5: 8-10, NIV

Dear Lord: Thank you for pushing us, calling us to grow and change in wondrous ways. Help lead us as we accept new challenges and enter new phases in our lives. Encourage us to lean on you for support during these sometimes rocky transitions; hold our hands and guide us through, letting us know that you never give us more than we can handle. Amen.

Even Mommies Have Tantrums Too

 

The carpet of the spare room rose up to meet me as I threw myself down, and wet it with lavish tears of anger and frustration. My toddlers, three and one, were alternately perplexed and upset by my outburst. Even my husband was brought upstairs that morning from his basement office by my roars. He calmed the girls while I tried to pull it together.

"It's just so hard," I said. "They're driving me crazy. I can't take this anymore."

My "tantrums" were happening more and more often. I was ashamed of my behavior, but I felt powerless to change it. The demands of mothering two very needy toddlers had totally undone me.

I wasn't in any kind of meaningful relationship with God then, so it's no surprise I didn't have any reserves to draw on.

No heavenly shoulder to cry on.

No wisdom of the scriptures to lean on.

No bond of prayer to connect me to a sympathetic divine ear.

Not long after that outburst, my neighbor invited me to a Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) meeting at a local church. I went, joined, and have been a MOPS member ever since. My girls are now 5 and 7, and they're joined by a five-month-old little brother.

Since I joined MOPS, I started praying and cultivating a relationship with God again. I joined a gym and lost 10 pounds. (Well, ok, I need to lose that 10 pounds again, but this time it's baby weight.) I discovered new hobbies. (I learned how to sew and how to do both traditional and digital scrapbooking.) I completed the First Place for Health Bible Study. I ran in the Pittsburgh Marathon (ok, the marathon relay). I co-directed our church's Vacation Bible School for two years.

And I was blessed to be able to continue my freelance writing career, carefully balancing incoming projects with babysitting, cobbled together from high-school students after school hours, in-laws during the day, and my husband on nights and weekends.

This fall, for the first time, I don't plan to sign up for MOPS. I do have mixed feelings. MOPS was a life-saver for me in the beginning, but, after four years, I was starting to feel like the "old-timer" in the room. Though I do have a baby again, I don't feel that intense need to bond with others over the early years' details that I once did, simply because I've done it twice before. (Don't get me wrong, though: I know that doesn't qualify me as an expert. And, don't be surprised, MOPS members, if you find me slinking back through your doors with my tail between my legs, at some point. I know babies get infinitely harder once they become mobile, and I reserve the right to change my mind!)

What I could definitely use is a support group for mothers of elementary-schoolers. MOEs, anyone?

But, I am signed up for a new Bible study--and I'm getting into my newest hobby, DSLR (digital single-lens reflex) photography, with a course at the local community college. I can't wait.

I have to admit, though, I still do the mommy monster roar every now and again. But, I'm not ready to throw in the maternal towel again. To give up. Like I was once. I know God has my back.

In my distress I called to the LORD; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears.

2 Samuel 22:7

Dear Lord: I pray for mothers, the world over. Please give us strength and wisdom, patience and compassion. Help us to know that our work matters. Remind us to lean on you when we are weak or tired and be nurtured, but also inspire us to take on new challenges that invigorate us. I also ask that you bless the many MOPS groups preparing for their new "year." May the women there form new friendships, learn more about your love, and feel refreshed and renewed after each meeting. Amen.

Freezer Fiasco: A Lesson in Patience

It was not a pretty sight--or smell. I must have neglected to fully shut our standing freezer days ago. The stench of rotten meat alerted us something was wrong. We opened the freezer to find oozing, thawed pork and beef.

We'd just walked in the door after being gone for 5 hours, running errands with the kids. The girls were cranky and tired, and the baby just wanted some quality play time after being cooped up in his car seat all afternoon. But, we had Emergency #1 to attend to.

As I tried to hold the baby and take stock of what to toss and what to keep--and where to put the non-spoiled meat while we cleaned and defrosted the freezer--my five-year-old poked her head into the basement, crying. "There's no paper to draw on!" (She has a lovely habit of crying for no apparent reason, multiple times a day, which would test pretty much any parent's patience reserves.) After asking if she'd looked in the usual spots, we determined there was no more paper around, and I decided to go upstairs to the craft closet to see what I could find.

I didn't find the paper. I did find that the dog had thoroughly christened the cream carpet--evidently, his intestinal "bug" wasn't all better, as we had hoped. Enter Emergency #2. I walked back downstairs, still toting the baby, to break the bad news to my husband, who was barely started on the freezer fiasco. "How bad is it?" he asked.

"Ummm, I'm not sure," I hedged, not wanting to stress him more.

In the meantime, our five-year-old had escalated into full-on wailing about the paper for her drawing. That was the straw that broke my usually calm husband's back. "Go to your room!" he bellowed.

I have to admit it. It's usually me that loses my cool, but I'm pretty good in crisis mode. I whisked the kids away for a while and got them settled, while checking in periodically on my husband and doing what I could to help.

My patience isn't typically tested in so dramatic a fashion, but it is tugged on a daily basis by little hands. A  baby who sometimes seems to go from one messy diaper to a feeding to just wanting attention--all while his older sisters are needy and dinner somehow has to get on the table. A project deadline and a morning blocked off for work when a child gets sick. A full to-do list barely touched at the end of the day--and though I hardly sat down, I can't remember what I've done, much less why I didn't get around to most of the things on the list.

But the worst thing I can do is feel sorry for myself. Corinthians 6 (emphasis below, mine) helps puts it all into perspective. Paul's hardships make mine look pathetically minuscule; his determination is a source of inspiration.

We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

2 Corinthians 6: 3-10

Dear Lord, please give me patience. Help me to keep going even when the going is tough. I know you test me; you wear away at the hard edges of ego and jagged terrain of selfishness; you smooth and polish my soul with each hardship I endure and each difficulty I surmount. Allow me to accept the bumps in the road with grace and determination and help me to put it all into perspective, knowing what is truly important and what is not. Amen.

Image: Maggie Smith / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Crunch Time

It's that time of year around here. Crunch time. But, not in the sense you may think.

The grass is crunchy. The flowers are crispy. The hanging baskets, deep-fried. One of our trees is starting to drop little brown crumbly leaves all over the deck like no one's business.

I like to think of it as God's way of gently easing us out of summer. By this point--September, dry as a bone, and 92 degrees, we are ready for a change. Ready for crisp mornings and a veil of fog draped low on the hills, ready for jeans and jackets, ready for the vibrancy of leaf-shades in red, orange, and yellow.

So, instead of bemoaning the dying season, I see it for what it is. Divine preparation. God is saying: Just wait. Better things are on the horizon.

Dear Lord: Thank you for your abundance, but also for scarcity. Without rain, I could not appreciate sunshine; without heat, I could not savor coolness; without dark, I would not love the light. Help me to see the blessings in every season, and in every situation, knowing that you care for us and have fashioned this world and its seasons fearfully and wonderfully.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1